Otherside for Jacob
by the-wolfgirl89
Summary: DARK songfic after breaking dawn. Contains references of suicide. Character death, you are forewarned


**AN: I own nothing but my plot *tear… The song is 'Otherside' by Red Hot Chili Peppers… Final warning about severely dark theme.**

_**How long how long will I slide  
Separate my side I don't  
I don't believe it's bad  
Slit my throat  
It's all I ever  
**_

My hands tremble with the release I'm about to experience. Not the release of my wolf. Not a sexual release. No, this is a release of a completely different kind. This releases the tension that has consumed me; this will release me from thoughts of _her_. Finally it will release me from this existence.

_**I heard your voice through a photograph  
I thought it up it brought up the past  
Once you know you can never go back  
I've got to take it on the otherside **_

I pick the photo up from the floor. I stare hard at it. I'm memorizing _her_ face. _Her_ heart shaped face, _her_ pale skin, and _her_ silky brown locks I had run my fingers through so many times. _Her_ slight blush, _her_ smile, and _her_ big brown eyes staring up at me as I hold _her_ close to my bare chest. My dark skin contrasts against _hers_ making _her_ even more startlingly beautiful.

_**Centuries are what it meant to me  
A cemetery where I marry the sea  
Stranger things could never change my mind  
I've got to take it on the otherside  
Take it on the otherside  
Take it on  
Take it on**__  
_  
This is the kind of moment that should have lasted us a life time but now _she_ didn't have a lifetime, _she_ had an eternity, _she_ had an eternity with him. I drop the picture into the water I sit in. My face turns away in disgust, eyes seeking the blade instead.

_**Pour my life into a paper cup  
The ashtray's full and I'm spillin' my guts  
She wants to know am I still a slut  
I've got to take it on the otherside**_

I think about how my blood will soon spill out into the water. Tingeing it pink. I smile at this thought. Then my inner wolf betrays me, bringing forth pictures in my mind, pictures of the pain I will inflict. She looks so much like _her_ that it only serves to remind me why I want to do this again.

_**Scarlet starlet and she's in my bed  
A candidate for my soul mate bled  
Push the trigger and pull the thread  
I've got to take it on the otherside  
Take it on the otherside  
Take it on  
Take it on**_

I replace pictures of what could have been for the previous ones. I picture _her_ arching up into me. I picture my mouth on _hers_. I picture _her_ swollen belly, large, but not sickly looking, as I run my hands over it placing kisses over it. I picture a child, our child, nursing from _her_ beautiful breast.

_**Turn me on take me for a hard ride  
Burn me out leave me on the otherside  
I yell and tell it that  
It's not my friend  
I tear it down I tear it down  
And then it's born again**_

I finally take the blade in my right hand and press it hard to my wrist. I hiss at the contact as blood comes to the surface. The pain almost makes me recede, makes me rethink. But then _her_ beautiful face, not the one I dream of but the one _she_ has now, pops in my mind. I drag the blade up in a hard line pressing it into the vein. Then I repeat on the opposite arm. My arms tremble and I drop the blade, making a small splash and then I drop my arms into it.

_**How long I don't believe it's bad  
Slit my throat  
It's all I ever**_

I close my eyes. I bring forth my memories and dreams of _her_. I ignore the stinging and the nausea that is creeping in. I relax completely and very slowly I succumb to the darkness, my last thoughts are of _her_ just like it should have been.

**AN: I hope you liked this. It's definitely not my usual style but I'm feeling very inspired and influenced by music at the moment. To my regular readers especially, as well as my new ones, I will also be posting a Jasper/Bella songfic today =). Also I hope to post my first chapter in a Bella/Seth story so if everyone would look for those later today… just Author alert me. =D Also I would really like some feedback on this. I've never written anything this dark and want to know what others think.**


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